25 responses so far ↓

• Simone Solomon // Aug 24, 2007 at 11:00 pm

  I must admit that I was surprised that such a high profile woman of God would allow Satan to set her up like that! But, being a survivor of spousal abuse my self, and a woman of God, brought back memories of my marriage. So many Sundays that I would find church as my source of refuge. After weekends of cussing and fussing, in front of my beautiful son - Like clockwork, he began his drinking on Thrusdays and by sat night, the cops had to be called. By Sundays, I would dress so fast, run to the car and lock it, because he was dress for church also. Some times I was able to leave him only to see him later (he take a cab) or if he got in the car, the hell continue until I parked in the church parking lot and I would t ran in the church. You see I sang in the choir, I also ran the food ministry, a Sunday school teacher and Hostess! Often Single women would approached me and say” I wish I had a marriage like yours. I would say…lf you only knew!

  I left him on my birthday, Yeah! And three years later he bleeds to death from all that drinking and evil inside him. My divorce came on Monday and he died that wed.

  WHY ARE OUR MEN SO ANGRY? Juanita, You must leave him, To get your self respect back. And then, You can truly preachthe Truth of God.

• gjones // Aug 25, 2007 at 2:46 am

  It was left out that HE LEFT HER after the meeting and WALKED away…… SHE FOLLOWED HIM AND HECKLED HIM…… She said the WRONG thing and got her butt beat. Hmm…You think she would have just left him alone.

  1. SHE WAS WRONG for trying to pick the fight and AGGRAVATE HIM AFTER he left her.

  2. HE WAS WRONG to hit her in anger.

  Personally, although I don’t condone him hitting her, She aggravated the situation TOTALLY.

• Mrs.Crow // Aug 25, 2007 at 10:14 am

  This is a horrible experience for any woman to go through. Is it true about her husband being gay.

• ace campton // Aug 26, 2007 at 6:48 pm

  its obvious Bishop Weeks loves and enjoy same sex, He married a woman to cover up what comes so natural, is that so wrong, why would she call him out to the public like that someone needs to be ashamed and its not the Bishop Weeks its society and what they call normal, or hetero, thats why so many BLACK PEOPLE ARE DYING FROM AIDS, because of society, we have to sneak around listen to the horrid and sordid jokes that southern baptist preachers and deacons through out, at another person who is a little different, my heart and my prayers goes out to the Bishop Weeks, daily. This epesodes takes me back to the book that willy lynch wrote how to keep a negroe down. Come on society we are people we love what we love and like, no one should suffer for that, we have to learn to live and love. Lets take a lesson from Pastor Joel Olsteen, he is the only pastor in the world that preaches love and how to respect never hate, join our church and see how God blesses you if you take time to read this, Pray for a mans strenght in christ not his appetite for life and the lust, we are all in the flesh before anything else, I speak from experience I was in the middle of my vows i dropped to my knees and prayed unto my father in heaven and asked a packed church to give me 30minutes with my soon to be wife, and i told her i loved her but i enjoy sex with men, my wife went to shouting speaking in tongue all this took place in the pastor study she told me and looked deep into my eyes and said she knew and was tempted to call off the wedding, that moment she purposed to me i said yes i love you how can i put my other desires on hold, she told me that jesus will work it out, we been together 20 years and if i have to be with a man shes in the bed with me i love my wife and 3 kids take a lesson after this lets stop judgeing and live to teach love and acceptance and tolerance

• Mrs D // Aug 26, 2007 at 10:15 pm

  This is for A. Campton get a dictionary or use spell/grammer check before submitting such a hard to read, misspelled letter for the cyber world to read. If Mr Weeks is gay or have gay issues he needs to stop playing church and playing with God (Bishop what? hum). There is nothing to tolerate, accept or judge; homosexuality is a sin, plain and simple inspired by demonic spirits, not because I say so but because the WORD says so. If sleeping with the same sex was acceptable then God wouldn’t have destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. You may be a D.L. (down low) brother for the sake of your church, your wife and your children but nothing you do God doesn’t see (read Psalm 139). God has given you the authority and power to resist the devil and walk in righteousness before Him (not man). I don’t know what Mr Weeks sexual preference is and i don’t care but you have admitted to sleeping with men. I will pray for Juanita Bynum and her husband that the Holy Spirit will instruct them as to God’s will for their marriage. I will also be praying for your marriage and for you personally, that you take authority over that demonic “homosexual” spirit that has indwelt you, that you cast him out in Jesus name as many times as it takes until you are set free.

• Ruth // Aug 27, 2007 at 7:50 am

  Juanita, I am praying for you as you go threw and noone knows the things you had to endure but God. And I pray that you would not let this violence continue in your life. You are truly a women of God after God’s own heart and sometimes we will have to come up against lions in sheep clothing but, God has given you a decerning spirt to know the difference. I know the devil wants to take you our but, God want let him. I believe in you and my sister in christ and be strong in the lord and the power of his might and just wait on the lord let him guide you the rightway. And remember if he hit you once he will do it again. I pray for your speedy recovery and that God’s blessings will continue to be upon your life. And I declare today that no weapon formed against shall not prospher and every tongue that come against you shall be condeem. My God bless and keep you and remeber “We Fall Down But We Get Up.” The bible says let violence begat violence and just leave the battle to the lord. Be blessesd.

• Tim // Aug 27, 2007 at 11:16 am

  The truth is SHE IS THE ONE WITH THE SEXUAL IDENITY PROBLEM! It has been known your years that she is a “lipstick.” As a pastor I have had direct knowledge of her sexual sins for years but no platform to call it out. I do not know him but she certainly is no angel! She has a terrible temper, will cuss you out in a heartbeat and is known to get physical when things go wrong. I hope they both get it together because this is a shame!

• Vicki // Aug 27, 2007 at 4:19 pm

  I was very sad to hear of your dilemma. To see me now, one would think I was carrying your burden. Although I do not know you like God knows you, I only know that I am compelled to write and try to uplift my sister in Christ.

  I speak to encourage you to stand strong with your head held high—far and beyond the reach of every challenge that comes your way (and there are many that will continue to come). You are a Highly favored individual within the flowing bloodline in the Body of
  Christ. At this point, whatever you do–keep focused. Adjust your blinders to only hear, see and be obedient to the Word of God as you sit in His arena. God allows situations to occur in our lives because He is trying to get our attention about something that He is not completely pleased with, while at the same time He is strengthening us to expand in areas that He wants us to be fully equipped to handle when the time comes. This is what I believe you are experiencing, you are being set up for another testimony, allow God to show off in you.

  As you now experience a slight adjustment in your spiritual makeover, do not be too surprised at the fruit you once thought was nourishing to you and your ministry yesterday is now being pruned forever from the vine. There is no vancy for temporary believers. All the artifical Christians will soon be revealed one way or another. God is not playing, His mission is to great to accommodate anything less.

  Despite what has happened, continue to experience the joy of the Lord in your quality time of communicative prayer with Him. Know within you heart that God is mending and strengthening the fractures in your armor, whereby sealing you with His Character–equipped to withstand any and all weapons that wii ever be formed against you (these are also the weapons of the enemy within).

• Life // Aug 28, 2007 at 6:41 pm

  Juanita, take this one step at a time. You are in my prayers, God Our Lil Shada HE IS STILL IN CONTROL. That had to happen for God to totally free you from that hidden spirit within your husband. Now that you know who he is, Move on he’s been EXPOSED, and God is doing that in this day and time. The church needs to wake up and smell the coffee, God is not playing games with us any more. Form and fashion needs to get loosed out of the sanctuary, and allow kingdom minded folks to do what God has longed called us the church to do. My dear, pick up your cross, and continue to do what thus says the Lord.

  DO NOT GIVE UP, DO NOT GIVE IN, trust like you’ve always done, and know that He is the only one that understands and knows why things like this happen to people like us, but again i say GOD JEHOVAH IS STILL IN CONTROL. Be encouraged, and take courage. God Blessed

• Dee // Aug 30, 2007 at 7:14 am

  Ace Campton, This message is for you. I think it was very brave of you to post such a message. But as a christian if you are struggling with whatever demons I pray for you. But does the COMMANDMENTS not talk about adultery. If your wife had a problem with FAITHFULNESS I am pretty sure you would have not married her, and definately would not be in the bed with her. God loves you my brother as do I but for 20 years your wife has had to put up with an unfaithfull husband. Is this the fair treatment for someone you love. Is sex not an expression of our love for each other? As christians we have to fight these demons that want to stop our progress in God and we do this by staying in the word, fasting and praying to God for the stregnth to overcome. We all struggle with one thing or the other and we die daily and after 20 years I do hope you are getting closer to a life that you know God wants for you.

• Ndu // Aug 30, 2007 at 12:28 pm

  Does anyone go to their church in Atlanta? A relative of mine, an aunt, knows someone who goes to Global Destiny. The member reported that Juanita “went off”( verbally attacked) on her husband in the the pulpit in front of the entire congregation. He then got up and told them that he was going to give her a year to decide whether or not she wants to be married. I am not a member of that church and live in a completely different state. My concern are (1) why was he being evicted from a house? Don’t they share finances? Why would authorities have to “evict” you if you are paying the bill? Isn’t this part of the financial freedom that Juanita preaches about? (2) Is is “appropriate” for them to make all of their money off of the backs of poor people? I have been to several of Mrs. Bynum-Weeks’s conferences. From what I can tell, she knows the word and preaches it well, however, she has always ended her sermons by asking for large sums of cash. She then continues to ask for large sums of money until she gets down to the people who can only afford to give a little. She speaks in a way that leads me to believe that God loves and will do more for someone who gives more money. Suppose someone doesn’t have it to give? Does that mean God loves him/her any less? This is suppose to be about salvation and service. Why is it all about the money?

• saiva // Aug 30, 2007 at 5:46 pm

  What?! This world is turning upside down.Ace compton,you need to be delivered or accept the fact that you are going to hell because you aren’t even trying.Your wife has low self-esteem to stay with you and know you are gay.Forget about all that junk about how to keep a negroe down.Certainly you’re not saying Black people are wrong for not understanding homosexuality!!!I’m not Black,but understand that GOD is against homosexuality and that’s the end of the discussion!!! Don’t try to make the Word fit your inordinate affection. Send that to dry places and watch the LORD save you!!! Doris M. Wagner has a book,”How to Cast Out Demons” that will help you!

• BJ // Sep 1, 2007 at 12:16 am

  I can’t believe Simone, the first person who wrote, had the audacity to blame God for allowing Satan to set Juanita up like that! If Simone was a “woman of God” as she claims, she would already know God does not cause evil to His Children He loves: the Bible clearly tells us “Satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy”!

  I finally was able to escape from my Abusive Husband–to another State– 6-1/3 yrs. after our Divorce. My Husband was a “Big Shot” in his own Southern Baptist Church. His elderly Pastor refused to counsel him or make him resign from his positions of authority within the Church, in spite of knowing he caused my permanent back injury (which resulted in 3 failed back surgeries), plus tortured and killed my 3 cats the first time I tried to Divorce him; then killed my dog when I refused to drop those Divorce proceedings the second time! Thanks to his Preacher supporting him instead of me–I was so ashamed and embarrassed by his abuse–I never told another soul in his Church until after he caused my permanent back injury and tortured and killed my pets! I praise God for personally intervening! He destroyed the “ministry” of that elderly Preacher, then replaced him with a new younger Pastor and his Wife. His Wife was the one who reached out to help me, urging me to Divorce my Husband! I would not be alive today, writing this, had I remained with my Husband!

  There is a very good possibility Juanita grew up in a violent home like I did, where she was paralyzed by fear of violence since her childhood. Being paralyzed by fear is the main reason why battered wives are afraid to report abuse and/or leave their spouses! I would never, ever attempt to judge Juanita for not leaving until now because I’ve personally walked a mile in her moccasins!

  The fact she and her husband just recently went through a high-profile million dollar wedding, besides her being a Church spiritual leader, is probably another reason why she was trying to reconcile their marriage. If she didn’t, then people would attempt to judge her for that. But what Satan intends for evil, God turns around for good! Now that the facts are out in the open, I pray she Divorces him, immediately! God didn’t create Eve to be abused by Adam, despite the Southern Baptist Convention’s antiquainted viewpoint on what a Wife’s servanthood under her own Husband is supposed to mean. Incidentally, I wrote the SBC’s official newspaper, asking them to please do an expose’ about Church Officials battering their Wives, but the SBC has yet to do so, as far as I know!

  Until Christian Pastors are finally willing to hold men they’ve appointed to positions of power within the Church to finally be held accountable for mistreating their Wives, this abuse will continue! Spousal abuse in the Christian Church is the most under-reported news story in history, and I’m frankly sick of it! We have all seen enough news on the Middle East to last us a lifetime, yet something like this is being horribly under-reported! I knew nothing about it until I got today’s newsletter from Pastor James Robison of Life Outreach International!

• BJ // Sep 1, 2007 at 12:39 am

  PS:

  I just read the other postings about Juanita’s Husband supposedly being homosexual, about Juanita supposedly verbally abusing him, about her supposedly also being violent, etc.

  If you notice, I made no attempt to judge her Husband; I merely told what happened in my case and why battered Wives often don’t leave their Husbands until something like this occurs.

  None of us were physically present to hear these alleged arguments between Juanita and her Husband. Therefore, it’s gossip as far as we know! None of us has a right to judge either party based on gossip! God clearly states there will be no place in Heaven for gossips! However, the violence perpetrated against Juanita, is proven. Nothing justifies that kind of violence! If a person can’t control their rage, that they would allow themselves to beat up their mate–someone they claim they love–their own actions are proof they don’t love them! Rageaholics are in desperate need of therapy, and unless they are willing to get it, then the violence will only increase until a death occurs!

  Because of his unwillingness to tell all the truth contained in the Gospel, which also includes confronting spouses who abuse their own mates, I do not consider Joel Osteen to be a great “role model” as a Preacher! We need more preachers who have the courage to tell it like it really is, like John Hagee, TD Jakes, Creflo Dollar, and a few others! Preachers who refuse to confront Sin aren’t preaching God’s Word. What they are actually doing is preaching for Satan because people who refuse to admit they need help and confess their Sins and turn away from them will be ultimately going to Hell instead of Heaven. That’s one thing that God is personally going to hold Joel Osteen accountable for, one day.

• dee // Sep 1, 2007 at 3:56 pm

  To Tim!!! You call yourself a “Pastor!” A “Pastor” of what??? Who gave you a license? Yourself? You are blatenly calling this woman a “Ho!” Just be honest. How do you personally know about her sex life? Are you an ex scorned! (hmmm) You should know to keep your mouth off of a man or woman of God. But you are sitting at your computer, typing hypocritical stuff about a woman of God. Shame on you Pastor!! I hope God doesn’t SLAP a muzzle on you for speaking ill of on of his own.

  I am glad you are not my “Pastor.” And I am sure your church would feel the same way if they new what you were doing. Looking into your own background. What kind of skeletans have we found!!!!!!

• Don // Sep 2, 2007 at 9:55 am

  It does not take a really smart person to figure out something is really wrong here. Though I have a serious problem with Juanita’s theology, I do not feel that we should say bad things about her sexuality. Unless you have first hand knowledge, it is all speculation. My prayer is that God’s will would be done here. I pray that he will promote whom he deems fit and demote those who need to be on the sideline. Please people stop blaming the devil for every thing. The devil does not have the power to make a believer sin. When we sin we are drawn away to our own lust.. we blame demons when the word tells us that it is the work of the flesh. Stop giving the devil so much credit.

• Prophet Jones // Sep 4, 2007 at 10:35 am

  “Let he/she who is without sin cast the first stone”. All of you need to stop and let GOD deal with this. Our opinions will not fix this problem, only hurt it. “Touch not my anointed, and do my prophet no harm.” This can mean physical and verbal. Watch what you say.

• Charlotte // Sep 5, 2007 at 10:16 am

  As a survivor of domestic violence, a Christian, a counselor, and an evangelist, I am appauled by all the comments of those who have not heard the conclusion of this matter. Domestic violence against a man or a woman is never an option. Does it happen? Yes! Is every man or woman that strikes their partner an abuser? No! This quote from minister Bynum was taken from www.ajc.com : “Relationships are what they are, [they] have their difficult moments,” she said. “… This has changed my life forever.”

  He is her husband and she is his wife. They should be free to resolve this issue without the pressure of doing what is politically correct. Ultimately, there are three people that know what happened in that parking lot, a husband, a wife, and GOD. In the end, GOD has the final judgement in this matter. As never before, they need to seek guidance from HIM! He has the perfect resolution to a situation that never should have been a public forum. When they united in marriage they became one flesh. You can’t love one without the other. If you love them, offer them your unbiased love and prayer!

• god soldier // Sep 6, 2007 at 7:31 pm

  no man of god should lay hands on a woman,and call himself a preacher? he needs to be put in jail and never return to the pulpit, at least not as a preacher, he should be ashame of himself.

• Juanita Bynum Bishop Thomas Weeks Divorce; History of ‘Pushing and Shoving’ | Hip-Hop Crunch // Sep 7, 2007 at 5:06 pm

  […] Television evangelist Juanita Bynum has filed for divorce following an August attack at the hands of estranged husband Bishop Thomas Weeks in a parking lot at the Renai…. […]

• anthony bull // Sep 9, 2007 at 5:14 am

  Please my dear sister in Christ please don!t give up or
  give in please let God movie i pray that the will of God be done in your life i pray tht you seek guidanec and syay on the wall and comtuie to seek God face!!! God bless you in Jesus Names.

• Ndu // Sep 25, 2007 at 7:32 pm

  Dear Ms. Juanita Bynum,
  My name is Mechelle and I am writing to you because as a woman of God, like you, I have gone through many transitions. In the past, I have had sexual relationships with men in search of validation. My book “Computer Love” is a semi biographical book which chronicles examples of those relationships. An excerpt is left at the end of this letter. I would also like to share what I have learned from seeking God’s face.
  First, each of us is beautifully and wonderfully made because we are made in the image and likeness of God. This being the case, we as women don’t have to add extensions to our hair, wear weave, fake nails, put on thick makeup, and have plastic surgery, that is, if we are thankful for how and who God made us to be.
  I lived in Malawi, Central Africa for two years. During my time there, I discovered that beautiful African sisters are looking to us, the sisters in America to validate them. When we alter our appearance to such great extents, we are first telling God that his design was is not good enough. And then, we as black Americans are telling the children of our foremothers and forefathers that we hate who we naturally are as beautiful black people. We even give our own daughters and sons this same message by the extent of which we alter what is natural. You should see how some African women, especially the younger ones who have been exposed to western television, work to emulate us. Sisters who can barely afford to eat, try to mock us by wearing wigs , tight jeans and high hills. A perm costs five dollars in Africa. Teachers only make three dollars per month. Yet many of them will sell crops, sleep with men, or whatever else they have to do in order to afford “chemicals” , which are most Dark and Lovely box perms.
  The truth is, it is a form of self-hatred carried over from slavery. Even though slavery was a horrific era for our people, it could not have happened had it not been permitted by God. Those of us who seek God know that we have been blessed so that we can go back to Africa and help restore it. Ultimately as we return to the Motherland, we are the proof that God answered the prayer of the slaves and those they left behind. Instead, we take our riches and spend them on materials that don’t help elevate anything but our egos.
  In addition, men pick up on this insecurity. They think to themselves, “If this woman is so secure, why does she hide who she really is?” One might argue that weave and wigs are easier to up keep than natural hair. But if you’ve ever fully appreciated God’s design of your hair enough to go natural, then you know that there is nothing as easy and as soothing as letting g the water flow through your hair, drying it, and styling it. As long as you do not present yourself truthfully, men who come to you will not present themselves in truth because like attracts like. You attract who you are.
  The problem with wearing a mask is truth crushed to earth will rise again, so eventually, the mask has to come off and reveal the true nature of the individual. And when it comes off, who you actually are is quite different than who you presented yourself to be. This is why you did not see the abusive side of Bishop Weeks. The pretentious spirit in you attracted another pretentious spirit and when both of your masks came off, you had to eventually deal with all of the elements of the real person. I heard you say during one of your sermons, before you got married, ” I don’t want nothing black.” I asked myself, “Why not? She’s black. Dark black at that. Dark beautiful and black. So is her mother who I have seen on television. Then why would she make that statement if she loves herself?”
  Here’s a poem, by my brother Michael, called Little Black Girl. When I was a teacher, each of my students had to memorize it. I hope you’ll like it too.
  Little black girl, your eyes ain’t blue!
  Your eyes are brown and your mama’s are too!
  Little black girl, that hair ain’t real.
  Don’t you like yourself, I mean what’s the deal?
  Little black girl, don’t bleach your skin!
  Your skin is as beautiful as your soul within!
  You’ve got the perfect figure and the perfect build!
  You’ve got plenty of brains and plenty of skills!
  You’re a queen in Africa and a queen in this land,
  You’re the object of desire, don’t you understand!
  Little black girl, you control the world,
  You’re the closet to perfection, little black girl!
  In the spirit of love and truth, let me give you another example of being real. You now refer to yourself as “Dr.” Bynum because of the honorary doctorate you have received. Although it is a common practice for individuals to referred to as doctor because of honorary degrees that have been bestowed on them, we as Christians are called to higher ethics . If you have not gone through the rigorous and sacrificial requirements that allow you to earn the title, you are not a true “Dr.” and should not be referred to as such. As a first year doctoral student, let me tell you that the process is very rigorous. I understand that prestige also comes with the title, “Dr.” , but they that worship God must worship him in spirit and in truth. Not just truth in some areas, truth in all areas, lest you continue to attract the element of deception because you have deceived yourself.
  I lived in Africa for two years. During my second year, I lived in the servant’s quarters. My room was literally next door to the chicken coop because the owner of the house, a female widow raised chickens to send her three children to high school. At times, we were without electricity and/or water for days at a time. The drought was in full affect and there was hardly any food. When there was water available, I took baths using mop buckets. Even though I suffered a lot and made only 800 per month, I counted it a blessing that I was able to share my salary with others by paying for funerals, tuition, medicine, and food . As I went before God daily in my block shack that was no more than seven feet by seven feet, I knew that he heard me. He soon proved it.
  While traveling back to America, I had a layover in Amsterdam. I met a doctor who was also from Mississippi. This sweet black woman is not a national figure, but for some time now, she has served God by taking his children in Nigeria food. We sat and talked for a while, sharing our experiences. When I got ready to board my plane, she said, “God told me to give this to you.” I opened the envelope and saw that God through this woman had blessed me with ten one hundred dollar bills.
  The second and biggest blessing came a year later. My husband and I had been trying to have a child. I didn’t think I could get pregnant because I would have an issue of blood for three months at the time. When doctors gave me medicine I bled even worse. I’ve had three DNC and a doctor told me, “You need to go ahead and have a hysterectomy.” I refused and asked a nurse who had taken my blood, to tell me my blood type? She said, “B positive!” To me, that was God’s way of telling me to hold on to his promise. So instead of B (ing) negative, I had to B Positive. Three months , after returning from Malawi the second time, my husband and I were blessed with a baby girl. She is two, I am forty one and have gray hair, but I’m a walking testimony. With that being said, I can only speak for me. There are people in this world suffering. One dollar a day could feed a family in Africa or provide antiviral drugs. Personally, rather than asking for a donation for a 200,000 threshing floor to pray for me, I would rather you go into your walk-in closet and raise money for the homeless, the sick and shut in, here and in Africa. Because those people are really suffering, you are not and the same God that can hear you in a 200,000 room can hear you in a walk-in closet, bedroom, or beside one of the seven lakes on your new property. Do you know how many people in Africa you could feed with that kind of money? Do you know how many girls you could send to secondary school or even to college? You might not know this, but we black folks are trying to make it and most of us are only living pay check to pay check, even those who follow the principle of tithing and giving. At your conference and on your website you reveal information about your line of candles that will be coming out in Macy’s Department Store, your new talk show, your new make-up line, etc… So the truth is, if anything, we need to be coming to you asking for money, not you coming to us.

  Next, take some time to heal! I was formerly in several abusive relationships. After raping and beating me, the man took out his penis, urinated all over my face and said, “Bitch! You ain’t shit!” I believed that for a long time because I saw myself through his eyes and not God’s eyes. I was depressed for a while and am still affected by some of it today. In my previous marriage, after we had had a wedding with a horse and buggy and the whole nine, my then husband asked me on the way back from our honeymoon, “Can we take an AIDS test?” I agreed. His results came back inconclusive. Mine negative. Again, this is all chronicled in my book Computer Love. I’m leaving an excerpt at the end. However, I’ve discovered that there are people who have gone through much more than we ever have. We have to not only motivate them with words, but we have to serve them by providing for them until they are strong enough to make it on there on. We cannot create an atmosphere for them to serve us. Asking abused women to pay for tapes and seminars while they are in the middle of a crisis, even responsible for the well-being of children while going through hell, would be like kick a dog when he’s down. Please, sister, for the love of God, don’t try to capitalize on pain whether it be your pain, the pain of abusive women, or that of Bishop Weeks.
  The bible does say, “Touch not my anointed one and do my profit no harm”. I have done neither and I believe that we must be willing to take advice just as equally as we give it. Although you may not ever read this letter, I wanted to share my honest feeling with you because it’s better than talking about you behind your back. Continue to be all that God created you to be and as you go through the fire, don’t be surprised if God directs you to sell all that you have and give it to the poor!

  Your sister,
  Ndu
  Email: Ndukanachi@yahoo.com
  P.S. I hope you enjoy the excerpt.
  Computer Love
  A Woman’s Search for Love over the Internet
  In The Beginning
  The ivory candles were lit among bouquets of live calalillies, giving a romantic light and serene mood to the beautifully decorated church sanctuary. Red rose petals were scattered on the white runner extending from the front of the church, down the aisle, and to the back, where Daddy and I were standing. The two flower girls looked like dancing ebony dolls as they innocently rebelled against the wedding director’s instructions to stand in place until the end of the ceremony. In terracotta colored dresses, the bridesmaids stood erect, like statues of Nubian queens from a distant land. Joining them were African kings in black tuxedos. Everyone looked so beautiful. Everything was well organized and perfectly placed. The organist struck three soulful chords and the audience stood up to await my grand entrance. I peeped over the well-dressed crowd, searching for Mama, my support. When I spotted her long pressed salt and pepper hair that glowed like her face, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, clutched Daddy’s arm, and walked down the aisle to marry Clifton, even though I knew he wasn’t the right man for me.
  Sunday evening, while we were flying back from our two-week honeymoon in Jamaica, my premonitions were confirmed when my new husband turned to me and asked, “Do you mind if we take an AIDS test?”

  “An AIDS test?” I asked, baffled by his bazaar question, “Shouldn’t we have taken an AIDS test before we got married? Why do you want to take an AIDS test now?”
  Clifton sighed and looked down at the floor. Then he looked back up at me. “Because Jacqueline,” he said, “sometimes people experiment.”
  The word experiment didn’t set right with me. I didn’t know if Clifton meant he’d experimented with a freaky woman or if he meant he’d experimented with someone of the same gender. I didn’t want to spoil my high from the feeling of freedom I’d embraced during our stay in Jamaica, so I didn’t ask him to clarify his statement. Instead, I remained perfectly submissive and agreed to be tested.
  The following evening, Clifton and I drove to a nearby city where no one knew either of us. As the nurse took samples of our blood, we looked on intensively. After she’d carefully labeled each specimen, we completed a survey, thanked the nurse for her services, and whisked through the lobby past teenage mothers and crying babies.
  It would take seven days for the test results to be delivered by certified mail. For the most part, we tried to return to life as normal. I remained calm by filling my schedule with after school activities, books, and movies, but Clifton acted very peculiar and more nervous than I’d ever seen him. He acted as if he were fighting some internal demon. Nevertheless, when the mail carrier delivered the envelope that sealed our fate, Clifton’s uneasiness was explained. While I had tested negative for both HIV and AIDS, Clifton’s status was inconclusive.
  Fearing the worst, I wished I could have turned back the hands of time to the day we’d first met, during our college days at Howard University. At the time, I was a junior Elementary Education major and Clifton was a senior, majoring in Polymer Science Engineering. That summer, Clifton, who’d had a flat tire a block away from my apartment complex, saw me outside moving crates, books, and other supplies that I’d used in class to create educational games and colorful bulletin boards. He approached me and asked if I happened to have a spare. I opened my trunk and started shifting boxes of construction paper, wooden blocks, and children’s books around to find the tire. That evening, when he returned it, I invited him in for dinner. Little did either of us know, in a matter of months, we’d move in together.
  During our courtship, we created a business plan for our future. We made education and economics our top priorities, but we left God and spirituality somewhere in the background. Five years later, after nights of passionate kinky sex, intellectually stimulating conversations, and trips throughout the country, we met at the altar and exchanged vows.
  Initially, we both wanted to live our lives as members of the black bourgeoisie, the upper crust, the African-American elite. But somewhere down the road, after I started attending the empowerment seminars at the Essence Festival in New Orleans, I shifted gears and my views changed. Participating in the conference each year did something to me, for me. I began to see myself, not just as a black woman, but as a child of God, a daughter of Africa, affirming the royal blood that ran through my veins and the melanin imbedded in the dermis of my skin.
  As I began spending more time with God through meditation and prayer, my quest for knowledge intensified and connecting with black people throughout the Diaspora became more important than the black Lexus I drove to work each day. I expected Clifton to change too, but he continued to drown himself in America’s economic cesspool of capitalism and consumerism by continually seeking material gain and by competing with his friends and his fraternity brothers for the most expensive cars, clothes, and art. He also continued to feed his spirit with degrading rap music, images of half dressed hoochies on BET, and pornographic movies.
  Originally, being married to a sister with a straight and flowing mane fitted the black urban professional image he wanted to portray. But when I changed my hair from long and permed to short and natural, he said, “I want a wife who is pretty! You look like a man with your hair short and nappy like that!”
  My reply was, “God knew what he was doing when he made my hair coarse and curly. Why should I change who I am naturally to fit the European standard of beauty?”
  The closer I got to God, the more He began to cleanse my heart and my mind, which eventually led to a confrontation with the dirty secret from my past, sexual abuse. I probably should have shared my issues with Clifton earlier on in our relationship, but I didn’t because I wasn’t sure how he would react. Facing my issues alone was too much for me to handle by myself. I needed a shoulder to lean on. I decided that I would tell Mama, especially since she deserved an explanation for my unpredictable teenage behavior, which had fluctuated from extreme withdrawal to downright rebellion.
  One evening, after contemplating long and hard, unable to hold the poison inside of my system any longer, I sat down to my black Toshiba laptop and wrote her a letter that chronicled every detail of my past. I told her how my cousin, her nephew, now pastor, would make his way into my bedroom at night after everyone had fallen asleep. Then I told her how he raised my gown, thrust his penis inside of me, and dared me to scream. I even told her how as a child, I’d been afraid of his inappropriate gestures, but how as an adult, living in a land of confusion; I enjoyed the incestuous acts that validated my female qualities, my womanhood, my attractiveness. College days that were supposed to stimulate and nurture intellectual growth and development had been cursed with nights of intense sexual intercourse alternated between my first boyfriend and my first cousin.
  After I’d regurgitated every dismal detail from my mind onto the computer, I felt exhausted, yet light-hearted, liberated, and free. It had taken thirty-six pages of run-on sentences filled with grammatical errors and painfully agonizing emotions to tell my story. I needed rest, calming rest, revitalizing rest, rest that would replenish my mental energy. I decided that I would later spell check the document, print it out, and address an envelope to Mama so that I could drop the letter off at the post office the next morning on my way to work.
  Leaving every painful detail on the screen, I pulled myself away from the computer, went upstairs into our bedroom, and stretched out across the king-size bed. In the meantime, Clifton, who had normally used the computer only when he wanted to check his e-mail, became curious to find out what had kept me in front of the screen and away from him for over three hours. When I woke up and went back down the stairs to pick up where I’d left off, the disappointing look on his face told me that he’d read everything and in no way was he going to be sympathetic about my abusive past.
  “Baby, what are you doing?” I asked Clifton, who was still sitting in the oversized brown leather chair in front of the computer.
  He looked at me, shook his head, and called me pathetic, pitiful, disgraceful, a slut, a whore, and trash, without ever opening his mouth. Then he got up, snatched his keys from the coffee table, and headed for the door.
  “Where are you going?” I asked, somewhat confused and disappointed by his non-verbal response.
  “To fuck my damn cousin!” he replied.
  Days passed, bringing with them even more devastation and resentment. Now when my husband looked at me, there was no longer that beam in his eye. He remained in our marriage physically, but emotionally, he was unavailable. When I dressed up for special occasions, he no longer complimented me. Each time I reached out to him for a hug or a kiss, he pushed me away. And just as quickly as he’d come in from work, he’d leave again, not returning until three or four in the morning. I was broken-hearted and my spirit became wounded and I wondered if I should have kept the past hidden in the deep crevices of my soul.
  With every essence of my being, with every iota of my love, I tried to recapture the romance that Clifton and I had once shared. But after he knocked me through the glass coffee table, I realized that the affectionate stimuli I mustered would forever yield the same disappointing result: REJECTION.
  The eve of our first year anniversary continues to weigh heavily on my mind, not because it was a celebration of our marriage, but because it was the day that Clifton showed me just how low down he could be. The tension between us had really started to affect my health in a serious way. The arguments, the continuous pressure of trying to make our relationship work and the verbal abuse caused the hormones that regulated my menstrual cycle to become unbalanced and as a result and without warning, I began hemorrhaging profusely.
  I was awakened in the early morning hours by blood clots gushing down my legs. I cried out in horror as I stared at my soaked pink cotton gown and the bloody white sheets on the bed. I became extremely weak. And as Clifton continued to sleep by my side, I continued to weep, afraid for my life. Aware that I needed medical attention, I reached over and shook him gently.
  “What do you want?” he asked, agitated by my disturbance.
  “Will you take me to the emergency room?” I said, pleading for his mercy. “I’m afraid I’m going to bleed to death.”
  “I’m not your damn chauffeur! Leave me the hell alone so I can get some more sleep!” he said, pulling the covers back over his head.
  Fighting sharp abdominal pains, I managed to call into work, shower, and get dressed.
  God gave me just enough strength to drive myself to the emergency room.
  Dragging my body along the wall of the hospital, I struggled in, thanking Him for allowing me to make it without having a wreck. The only thing I remember after that is waking up on a cot in a chilly examination room with nurses surrounding me. I blacked in and out, trying to make sense out of what had happened to both me and to my marriage. I was so incoherent that I couldn’t answer a single question they asked me about my medical history.
  Trying to rationalize Clifton’s attitude, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and told myself that he was in a bad mood and that somehow this tribulation was entirely my fault. But I also begin to question myself.
  “Is this the way my life is really supposed to be?” I pondered. “Shouldn’t a husband be loving and caring enough to drive his wife to the hospital? What can I do to make him love me?”
  When I felt someone holding my hand and massaging my legs, I opened my eyes. Standing by my bed, were a black male nurse and an Indian female doctor. Both had looks of deep concern on their faces. Still drifting in and out of consciousness, I vaguely heard them say something about my blood type, a blood transfusion, and the risk of HIV/AIDS.
  The doctor reached over and handed me a clipboard. I scribbled my name on a piece of paper and soon thereafter, the nurse hung a bag of blood on a silver pole and inserted a long needle into my arm. After a while, my condition began to stabilize and I began to feel somewhat better.
  “Mrs. Latham, can you hear me?” the doctor asked.
  I nodded yes.
  “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
  I nodded again.
  “You are in no condition to drive yourself home. When you came in, your body contained less than one third of the blood that it needs for survival. A normal blood count is thirty. Yours is eight.”
  When I realized how close I’d been to death’s door, a tear rolled down my cheek. The doctor squeezed my hand tightly.
  “Are you ok?” she asked.
  “Yes. I’m fine,” I lied.
  “Is anyone here with you?”
  “No, I’m alone.”
  “Can you call somebody to drive you home?”
  “No, I’m afraid not,” I answered, thinking of Clifton, who was probably still asleep.
  “We’ll call a taxi for you, if you’d like,” the nurse added.
  “No thank you. I’ll just lay here a little while longer and get some rest. I’ll be OK.”
  The doctor and the nurse exited the room and for the next two hours, I slept. When I was awakened again, the doctor gave me two prescriptions: one for a bottle of iron tablets to rebuild my blood, and the other for a two-month supply of birth control pills to regulate my cycle. Slowly, I rose from the bed and got dressed, realizing that while the remedy might cure my physical ailment, it wouldn’t cure my somber emotions.

• ray stone // Nov 29, 2007 at 11:43 pm

  read t. pugh’s autobiography, “A STep Into Deliverance”, an engrossing account of one pastor’s amazing battle with the spirit of jexebel. Jezebel is a major principality we must all confront and is behind this sad episode.

• norma // Mar 28, 2008 at 3:36 pm

  I do not care if she followered him outside. It does not matter nothing warrants abuse. This man has a serious problem. See married Juanita as a cover up for his gay life. What real man you no who is not a cowart going to abuse his high profile wife outside in a parking lot. This bomb stomped and kicked this woman all about her body. He even kicked her between her legs. Now, I no that would have been a death sentenced for him. See god is still working with me. He have told all kinds of lies on this woman of god trying to break her spirit, and end her ministry. This man has a very bad temper and needs to step down as a bishop are any church leader. Juanita please run as fast as you can he is not worthyof you at all. He use his tongue well as a cover up. Weeks is slick and mean spirited. He has a major problem with controll and rejection.

• Willie Mae Johnson // Apr 3, 2008 at 9:27 am

  Juanita you to stop that ! Are you freakin serious?

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