Oprah has hit the 200 lb. plateau for the first time since her massive body transformation in the mid-nineties–and she isn’t happy about it.

“I’m mad at myself,” the Queen of Talk, 54, writes. “I’m embarrassed. I can’t believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I’m still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, ‘How did I let this happen again?’”

“…The dreaded 2-0-0,” Oprah writes. “I was so frustrated I started eating whatever I wanted – and that’s never good.”

“I’m mad at myself,” says the 54-year-old television mogul. “I’m embarrassed. I can’t believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I’m still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, ‘How did I let this happen again?’”