“He tells you he adores you. He tells you u guys were meant for each other. You care for him. You are falling for him.”

“You take things slow. You don’t want to make any mistakes. You are feeling this and you feel this could mean forever.”

You ask him "are we moving too fast"? He replies "We are just following our hearts." You start to trust him. Something you have not done since your first heart break. How long ago was that? You wonder. Trust is something you vowed you would never do again. But slowly your heart comes out of its steel enclosure. You feel like you can trust him. You feel as if everything you went though was for a reason. And the reason was to meet him. Days turns into weeks. And he tells you about the connection you guys have in each others hearts.

Weeks turns into months and you slowly start to wean the other guys in your life out. And than it happens. No not the "L" word. But what you have been most afraid of. What deep in your heart you have been afraid to confront. What you always suspected would happen one day sooner or later. HE STOPS CALLING. You panic. But you try to stay calm. He did this before when you first started talking, but u tried to forget it. You knew u should have not forgotten. But u tried to ignore it. He disappears for a week with no phone call. No answer to yours no nothing. Finally you hear from him. You want to rage you want to scream you want to cry. But you can't help you heart from feeling a tad bit happy.

As you begin to ask him what happened he stops you. He says "I need space". You cringe at these words. This is the very reason you begin to think why your heart was in that steel enclosure. The reason you don't put your emotions your feelings, your heart into it. Because one day it always turns in to this day. But you are already too far out you are at the point of no return, you can't come back. You can't believe, although a piece of you does believe it. Space. How many time have you heard this before? Space? Wasn't you giving him enough? Space. Hummm you laugh because its so ridiculous. You laugh because again u knew this day would come. Why did you not listen to that little voice inside your hear telling you to "watch out". "Be careful". You laugh only because tears won't come.

You know its not you, but u cant help but look at that man in the mirror. You can't help but pick yourself apart. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? And again and again you can't come up with the answer. Slowly as you try to focus on other things and think of other people you put you heart back into that steel case.

Tears finally come and they make you feel a little better, but the pain is piercing through your soul. The pain never hurts as bad as the first time. . But all the same you can't help but feel hopeless, foolish. Your great chance to be with your soul mate has again somehow slipped and failed.